why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
