so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
