Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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