I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
