Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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