well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
