i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
