My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
