I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
