he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
