the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
