yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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