I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it's like heaven, but drunker
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
