i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
