TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we should paint friendship bongs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize