I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
