I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
