Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I touched a dick in church today
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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