I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
