Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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