Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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