Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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