The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
