Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
