my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think i peed on brittanys purse
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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