once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
