We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
