So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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