This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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