It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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