just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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