I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
