New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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