You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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