he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
