You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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