I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
