it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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