exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Houston, we have a squirter
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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