you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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