i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
