it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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