you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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