On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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