when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
