I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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