Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
