Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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