she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
