My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
