OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
